Issue 31. Opulence in our Tomorrows

Good Morning and Welcome,

To issue No.31: This week, you get a chance to vote twice, a puppy (or two) that doesn’t have to be for life (but will be for Christmas), and Agnes returns with some advice.

South Kerry by the numbers:

• 27: % is Michael Healy-Rae’s anticipated share of our votes according to Tuesday’s TG4/Ipsos poll.

• 27: years ago, Jackie Healy-Rae was elected to the 28th Dail, if both Michael & Danny are elected that’s a collective 57 years of Healy-Rae T.D’s for Kerry.

• 4: th. RTE has us as the 4th least competitive constituency in the country.

• 4: % Error margin expected across this poll.

Are we really that predictable? Get out and vote. Give every one of them a number, why wouldn’t you?

First, a word from this week’s sponsor

Willie's Christmas Poem

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So pop in today, don’t let Christmas slip,

And grab a fine hamper for your festive trip.

For nothing says Christmas like Willie’s fine flair,

A basket of treasures and love to share!

Mighty stuff Willie! Don’t forget, Willie’s are offering a 10% discount on December 7th, to claim, head to the counter and say: “We've wandered to Willie's Wild Atlantic Way Wines & Whiskey, we await Willie’s wonderful winter windfall!”. Simple.

A dog is for life, but can you help these two this Christmas?

Local heroes that are KLAWS need your help, they’ve had a litter of puppies and the mother hasn’t taken to them and here are the two that need YOU

KLAWS have a fantastic record of rehoming dogs and they are confident they can do the same with these after Christmas, have you space for these two until then? You have, haven’t you? You have of course, you can get in touch here & if you haven’t got the space but just want to help make their Christmas all the better, you can donate here.

It’s The Signs of South Kerry 🎺🎺🎺

Is this a difficult one?

Where’s this sign?

Congratulations to last week’s Winner 🍰🍰🍰

Last week, it was of course, Rineys Bar, Sneem. Apologies for the lack of a solution on the website, cannot get the staff…

• Martha Fitzgerald 

Winners are only ever competing against themselves it seems.

Auntie Agnes Answers

Dearest Agnes Now that there is an election, I'm finding it difficult to see any difference between Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael. They seem exactly the same. They even govern together with the exact same policies. Can you please explain why we have two parties that are exactly the same but have different names? Why isn't it just one party?

Agnes Answers: So, how does one go about making a choice in this grand farce of political options? It’s simple: Just pick your favourite colour! Do the party leaders have the charisma of a wet sponge? Sure! But what’s charisma when you can vote for your preferred shade of incompetence?

And let’s not forget the true secret to Irish democracy: No matter how you vote, you’ll be left with the same outcome — spirited debates at the pub, someone (probably your uncle) ranting about “the state of the country,” and the distinct feeling that your vote might just be a suggestion written in invisible ink.

So grab your ballot; let’s make a cup of tea, put on our whimsical political hats, and dive into this merry-go-round of mediocrity. Why not vote for a party that promises to lower your taxes and raise your spirits — because at the end of the day, we may be all in the same boat, but by God, we’ll make sure there’s enough Guinness for everyone!

Well, if you’ve a non-political problem, just;

Where has the best pint in South Kerry?

Voting closes at midnight tonight. It’s been great to see such participation so far, only the winner gets a trophy, so keep those votes coming in, results announced in full next week.

The Oracle’s Eleventh Cartoon

Tim’s got political here, Hasn’t he?

Everything Else

• It’s well and truly Christmas in Portmagee Domes, all info here

• Ever wanted to know what exactly happened with that murder at the plaza? South Kerry Youth Theatre will enlighten you in Tech Amergin on the 4th @ 7pm. Strictly over 10s only.

• How would you go about having a healthier Christmas? Find out tomorrow from 12 at the College Arms, details here

• There’s a fundraiser dance for Palliative Care being held at Foilmore Community Centre on Saturday 7th December. Music by Seamus Healy. Raffle with great prizes. Doors open at 8.30. Dancing at 9pm

• Nostalgia’s on fire with a tribute to Big Tom at Foilmore Community Centre on Tuesday, 8pm.

• Christmas market’s aplenty, Caherdaniel tomorrow & on the 6th in Portmagee Community Centre.

Thanks

Never again will I send one before the polls open, apologies.

But still, wouldn’t it be better if there was more of us reading? Wouldn’t it? The link below is unique to you, simply refer three new subscribers & win a *magnificent prize. Just forward them this email and force them to click this link

As yet, one magnificent prize has been claimed.

Good luck, be well

Dave

*I think the prize is magnificent, OK.

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